Mia Mingus and Stacey Milbern are two queer disabled diasporic Korean women of color in the process moving from the South to the Bay to create home and community with each other.
This tumblr documents their journey. For more info about Mia, visit her blog at what is
dear mia,
it’s hard to believe that in two weeks i will be celebrating my one year anniversary of living in the bay. this week my mind is mostly on hustling to find more work, start school, and pay the bills, but i am also reflecting a lot on what i thought it would be to live in the bay, and equally as important, to be in relationship with you.
last week we joined ananda on the digital sisterhood radio show to talk about to the other side of dreaming. i appreciated what you said about our responsibility to be transparent with those who have followed our blog, been inspired by our journey, and worked to give advice, connect us to folks here, and generously support our move. i have been needing to write the letter that says where we are is not where thought we would be when we started this blog — that actually the accountability process we had planned out with chosen family did not take place, that we are not currently living together, and that there are still a lot of hurts, anger, and unanswered questions tangled between us. we are living in the truth of disappointment and heartache, one that makes me suck in my cheeks and sigh.
i was in a workshop once where the facilitator (mimi kim) said that when people undergo accountability processes, a lot of times their hope for the process is to make things go back to how they were before the harm happened. she said that that is a deeply understandable response, but one that is not realistic. i have difficulty admitting to myself that to the other side of dreaming did not go like we planned, and that the unraveling started with me not fulfilling a promise i made you. but really, that is what is.
i appreciate the rituals we did with queer chosen family to close 2011. to name and give voice to the barriers or “elephants in the room” that keep us from each other. to reflect on what we want to leave behind in 2011 and what we want to usher in to 2012. to have authentic, genuine collective resiliency time with the holidays. to pack you up once again and wish joy in your new home.
i am not sure what 2012 will hold but i am thankful that we are still here, with each other. not leaving.
with heart,
stacey
