Mia Mingus and Stacey Milbern are two queer disabled diasporic Korean women of color in the process moving from the South to the Bay to create home and community with each other.
This tumblr documents their journey. For more info about Mia, visit her blog at Who gets to have this? Being Held Accountable.
Dear Mia,
I have written three letters to you. Each with something completely different to say.
These last ten months have been so intense. I am moving from a place of isolation and only being responsible for myself. To being with you, and many other people I love. 
I am figuring out what accountability means —- what it looks like on the day to day —- and I am learning the hard, hard, hard way. Hurting people I love. Not doing right. Making mistakes. Community saying “okay, that makes sense that you did that, but it’s not alright.” In the past, when I did something harmful, I was able to wait it out, gloss over it, or slide it under the rug. This is a completely new experience, one that most people don’t get to have. Being held accountable, instead of pushed out.
I want to take responsibility to do the work I have to do to be the person I want to be / said I would be. I know it will take years of healing work and confronting all the monsters that keep me frozen in my survival strategies. I also want to to be responsible for the harm I have caused you.
I am thankful for you opening up this conversation on our blog. I am thankful for our commitments not to leave. I am thankful for community who holds us, and does so in love, and with the work of creating accountability process timelines, charts, doing emotional support, pushing, planning, building access intimacy, and creating collective resiliency strategies. I know this is “the work” — of figuring out how to hold on to each other.
Thank you for not letting go.
Stacey
